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Roots & Beginnings

by | Mar 5, 2023 | Journal | 0 comments

Roots & Beginnings

Much of my adult life has been an exploration of yin. What is femininity, what is stillness, why is it so hard for me to function in a world characterized by action and speed, why I am so easily overwhelmed and depleted, why does everything seem so loud. This has been less an exploration by choice and more one of necessity since my sensitivity to external stimulus and busyness and stress results in health issues that require me to slow down in order to heal and function.

But also, I’m attracted to it.

I distinctly remember a time in my early 30’s when I decided to sit at my dining room table and do nothing. This was before any practice of meditation or learning about being in the present moment. I was just curious. I sat for about 45 minutes. I thought. I was simultaneously surprised and relieved by the stillness of everything. Nothing moved.

Still I sat there. I got bored. I felt a strong desire to get up and do something – anything. But I stayed. I looked around. I listened to the noises outside. I thought some more.

I was simultaneously surprised and relieved by the stillness of everything. Nothing moved.

I started to feel an aliveness inside of me that I hadn’t been aware of before. I could feel myself – more than just myself doing activities or relating to people or solving problems. I could feel this quieter, more solid, somehow more life-like and real part of myself.

And that can be addicting.

By Imso Gabriel on Unsplash

Living Roots Farms Germinates

Fast forward to late summer, 2022. At the early stages of work on my website and concept for Living Roots Farms, I had a feeling of pregnancy which I think is relatable for most people who undertake a creative venture. Like I was quietly nurturing something inside of me, a little afraid for it, very protective, curious to see how it would turn out. I didn’t talk with anyone about it for six weeks – I just wrote to develop my ideas, started educating myself, and began creating the website and documents to support it. I told friends I was working on something important because I wanted their anticipation to fuel me.

In hindsight I am glad I kept it secret for a while. Baby ideas that are dear to us are like tiny seedlings: very easily squashed by any number of influences, even well-meaning ones.

Even before seedlings reach their tiny brave heads above the soil, they are developing a root structure. It is required – they cannot make growth in the open air without having this supportive infrastructure. It’s delivering nutrients and providing stability.

So, step one in a new endeavor: grow roots.

This is what I was doing as I worked secretly those first weeks.

By Naturenow – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0
Roots are the yin portion of the plant, the above ground growth is the yang. The roots in the soil are like fish in water, or us in air. It is their environment by necessity, what they were made for and what was made for them. They are alive and moving constantly – just more slowly than we can perceive and hidden in this dark, quiet environment. They find and create their paths through the soil, moving around rocks, constantly adapting to their environment. They pull in nutrients, feed themselves, channel nourishment up the length of their supple bodies to produce above ground growth.

Most of us rarely think about what is going on beneath the ground, we are so focused on the environment that is more accessible to our interaction. But it is there, constantly changing and moving and alive, subtle and slow and dark. There would be no growth above ground without the roots, there cannot be. Nature creates systems of balance, systems that complement, yin and yang.

Just like creative endeavors, roots systems are messy. They are each unique. There is an element of symmetry, but not perfect symmetry. They go to where nutrients can be found and where there is room for them to expand. Just as with people, environment is important. No matter how high quality the seed, the roots can only grow when they have the appropriate nutrients, water, aeration, soil structure, temperature.

Nature creates systems of balance, systems that complement, yin and yang.

The soil is the womb of the earth. The roots anchor there, preparing for growth that will be visible in the future.
The beautiful thing about nature is that if you get the environment right, you can just watch the growth happen and watch nature do her thing. You don’t have to force it or micro-manage it; in fact, you can’t. Just like pregnancy. Just like any creative work.

Living Roots Farms Takes Root

The concept for Living Roots Farms came out of a long period of lacking a sense of purpose in my life, not knowing where to direct my energy, and feeling stagnant. I didn’t know what else to do so I started focusing on fundamentals, trying to do the most basic parts of life like eating and exercise as well as I could to build a solid foundation for myself, and I started praying for purpose.

Then one morning, I had an epiphany for which I can take no credit. Everything came together around this idea of building a working farm with a farm stay for guests – my history, my family, my skills and talents, my interests, my values, my desires – it all just worked.

Nothing I had pursued had ever felt like this. It was so obvious.

This was in September of 2022. Since then, it has been a spiral staircase – not a direct line up and flush with doubts, struggles, and slip ups – but always aiming in one direction and making progress toward one goal.

I am blessed to live in a time and place when I can share this journey so easily through technology with friends and other people whom it might interest. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

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